Wednesday, February 25, 2009
That is the part I have a hard time understanding, how they both know at the exact same moment that they have this attraction, how they know they this is the person for me.
I have never experienced this or witnessed this. In my former single life , I have seen a guy and thought WOW, I would like to get to know him.
So I did what all women do, I would inquire, I flitted around, fliriting casually, feeling him out and if he flirted back it was on.
I don't know if there was ever a time that I looked into someone's eyes and felt that immediate spark and if I did , I doubt they felt the same way. If there was a guy who ever felt that way about me, I never knew about it.
So, I guess I will have to rely on the wonderful world of fiction and movies to fulfill my yearning for the feeling of love at first sight.
Monday, February 23, 2009
I went to the doctor again today. All is good , which is what I wanted to hear. She did however give me a scrip for Adipex. This should kick start my metabolism and energy and hopefully some weight loss. Warmer weather wouldn't hurt either.
I am still bewildered and befuddled on why my friend at work isn't speaking to me. We have been friends way to long for this to happen. I know my big mouth said something to upset her about a week ago but even then there is something going on. The hard part is we can't really talk at work and there just hasn't been the time or the right time to talk. It's upsets me because we talk non-stop most of the time and to just not speak to someone hurts.
I have found even more friend from school on Facebook. It's crazy how a few friends have turned in to almost 150. These are people I have not seen since graduation and i feel like it was just yesterday that I saw them. Even though I pride myself in my excellent memory there are some people who have popped up I just don't remember very well.
I went to the funeral of a dear friend yesterday. Jill passed away after a 10 year long battle with Breast Cancer. She fought hard until the end and even though she knew she was going to die she never lost her spirit. It was a very tough time and even though you knew she was going to die it was still hard.
Nothing much random or exciting but this is my week so far....
Friday, February 20, 2009
I haven't seen her in a couple years because I don't live in my hometown anymore, but my mom and friends have kept me up to date. She was a year ahead of me in school and she and her sister played softball with me and my sisters. We weren't exceptionally close in school but we always talked and then as we were older she would run into my mom and ask about me.
The first time she went in for surgery was June 2, 1999. I know this because my family was at the hospital for my grandmothers surgery. It was early in the morning and my grandma was going in for a second surgery. We were waiting and saw Jill come in by herself. Her family wasn't there yet so my mom and I waited with her until they arrived.
She was only 36 years old. She had three kids. She had so much life to live but now it's gone. I am planning to go to her funeral if I can get off work. It will be like a class reunion except under very sad circumstances.
Life should not be like this. We should not have to say goodbye to our friends this early. Children should not have to grow up without their mothers. But life is not fair. All we can do is hope for the best.
Peace be with you Jill. I pray the Lord has made your body whole again. Your spirit always was.
Friday, February 13, 2009
Thursday rolls around and I don't have time. Yesterday I was off but was vacuuming water out of my basement in the morning. That happens when you have 50 degree weather in Michigan in February. Then I had the big boy's Valentine's Party. Then his second grade musical which was absolutely adorable! So here I am on Friday night posting Thankful Thursday.
My Thankful Thursday is dedicated to my friend Candi. I work with her. She is wonderful. She is marvelous. OK, before I break out into song, she is the best person you could ever be friends with. She is kind, giving, caring, cheerful, funny, creative, loving, trusting, etc. The verbs could go on and on.
Candi is fantastic. She is uber-creative. She loves her family and her friends and is almost always in a cheerful, fun mood. She welcomes people to her home and makes them feel like part of the family. My childred absooutely adore her. All children love her!
Candi is like my rock. I would say like a mother except she is too young, more like a combo of a favorite aunt/older sister. We have become very close and I have been able to confide in her all the problems I have been having with my marriage and she listens and counsels with the wisdom of someone who has been in my shoes. Her faith in God never wavers and she is very open and honest with her beliefs. I know that I can go to her any time and she will listen openly, not judging and give me advice at just the right times.
I cannot tell you how Thankful I am that God put someone like Candi in my life. I love you Candi!
Monday, February 9, 2009
When I was younger the church had a very large youth group and wonderful youth leaders. By the time I was old enough to join youth group, they had left the church for another in Tennessee and the youth group had dwindled down to about 10 of us. Also, this particular Baptist group was big on Fire and Brimstone. By that I mean they preached that if you listened to a particular kind of music, you were a sinner. If you read particular books, you are a sinner. If you danced, went to certain movies, drank, or basically did anything other than breathe or read your Bible, you were a Sinner!
To a sixteen year old who loved Stephen King, Metallica, and horror movies, this seemed a little much. How could a good who loved you for who you were and forgave your sins if you let him in your heart possibly mind some heavy metal music.. I wasn't about to go out and rob a liquor store or kill anyone. I just stopped going. The message wasn't' one that I could get with and I didn't think I was a bad person for these things.
I continued to go to church with my Grandma. She went to a non-denominational church that was more laid back. When I moved to where I live now I went a few times but my husband would never go so I figured why bother.
It's not that I don't want to go, I just don't. Yesterday I drove to East Lansing to meet my sister for lunch. Scanning through the radio stations I hit on Family Life Radio and they had a church service on. It was a Baptist church out of Midland and the minister's voice drew me in. I listened to the service almost the whole way there and the message was one I had heard before. It only takes one person to affect many. It only takes one sinner for thousands to be sinful. It only takes one person to be godly to make others godly and how you have to work on being god-like your whole life. No one will ever be perfect. You can strive to be more perfect but no one achieves that , and that is OK as long as you live a God-like life.
My question to myself and to others is do you have to attend church every Sunday to be considered living a god-like life. If you try daily to be devoted to God in his teachings but don't show up Sunday morning to an actual house of worship does that count? I do need to go back to church and take by boys because although I have had these teachings they haven't and they need to learn the reason why you are good to people and observe God.
I will get there soon, I promise. As far as my title, my mom told me How Great thou art was her Grandma Cottons favorite Hymn, and I think besides Amazing Grace it's the most beautiful song I have ever heard.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
I call my oldest my sweet boy, because that is what he is a sweet, sweet boy. He is kind and considerate and lovable. He is more reserved and shy and reminds me alot of myself at that age.
He can be a pest. He can be mouthy. He can be naughty. Usually that is reserved for me. Everyone else, especially his Grandma's think he is the best little boy who graced this planet.
He never usually gets in trouble outside of home. This week he got into trouble not once, but twice at school. First he got a detention slip home. The dreaded blue slip. He was to miss both recesses on Monday. They had indoor recess and one of the boys in his class was bothering him, would not leave him alone, so he swatted him on the behind. The boy did not run and tell, but another teacher observed the incident and that is a big no-no at school. I wrote the teacher a note stating this was just a case of boys being boys especially 7 year old boys and she knocked it down to one recess.
The second incident was yesterday. Every morning in class they have starters and a math starter. They don't have to turn it in but periodically the teacher checks it. He says he did not understand it but did not ask for help, just chose not to do it. His teacher asked for it and he said it was done, but alas it was not. She sent home a different slip, one that he had to write out and explain what happened. We had a long talk about personal responsibility and asking for help. He also completed the paper and got to write sentences today.
He was absolutely crushed. You would have thought he got suspended from school. He does not like to be in trouble at all, no matter how small it may be. I hugged him and told him he was a good boy and a smart boy and just needed to make better choices. Don't we all.
I wish he felt that way at home. He has no problem acting up for his mother
Monday, February 2, 2009
I have been browsing some blogs lately and lots of them have special theme days where they post according to that day. Today on Fabulously Frugalicious she posted this. I think it was meant to be an uplifting exercise and make you feel better. Lately I have been far from uplifting but I thought it would be fun to participate. What you are supposed to do is list things you did not do this past week:
I Did Not crumble at Meijers on Saturday when baby number to decided to be a monster and throw things out of the cart and then throw his pacifier at total strangers
I Did Not get upset when my big boy brought home a detention slip on Friday, it was a minor infraction and to me totally uncalled for and I DID write his teacher a note telling her so
I DID NOT make an ass of myself last week by cracking and saying something stupid to the guy I have a crush on. I don't know about this week though, it's looking a little shaky
I DID NOT keep my counseling appointment with our marriage counselor. I was in no mood to listen to her spout on about communication when I am to the point where I just don't care anymore.
I Did Not feel bad for cancelling that appointment- I am to the point that its either over or I crack up and go to the loony bin for awhile
I Did NOt feel bad for making plans to go to dinner tonight with my girlfriends and leave the boys dad in charge of everything from dinner to bath time to bedtime to dishes.
Now that I think I will do this every Monday because it's fun. I will have to keep a list so I can make it interesting next week
TTFN and see ya later