Saturday, May 10, 2014

Love More

I found this shirt at Old Navy one weekend and thought it was perfect for me.  It reminds of a Seed shirt I have.  It makes a statement though they may have not intended for it to.

I do love people.  I love life, and experiences and music and just everything around me in general, I love what is safe.  Safe is my family and most of my friends and my kids and animals and things that I don't have to worry about not loving me back.

I spent today by myself.  Other than taking Kid A to the Dr this morning and picking up a funky cool little table from a thrift shop I was home (and the gym but I don't talk to anyone there) by myself.,and oh yeah Daisy but she doesn't really count because I can talk to her about anything and she doesn't have anything to say about it.

Cool new table
I am extremely social so being by myself all day and not talking to anyone makes for an endless day,  I start to get twitchy.  I am better with people around me. I get more done.  When I am by myself I tend to curl up and do nothing.  I was determined today however to do something different.  I got my sunroom cleaned up and reorganized and my sewing area set up and my thirtyone area organized.  And listened to music...of course always music.  (Sidenote: If you don't like loud music playing don't come to my house) And of course I thought......and thought some more. more...its an easy concept but hard to put into practice if it's easier to just not to love anyone other than those people listed above.  I have days where I am certain I could go the rest of my life and just not deal with the unpleasant task of someone under my feet, dealing with them, trying to make them happy so they stay.  That is how I feel about love at the moment,  It's a task, something to check off my to do list and I keep moving it to the bottom and then to the following day's list.

Again, being the social Virgo that I am, I crave love, I give love. When I love someone there isn't anything I can't do for them.  My friends and family know this very well.  The thing is, the affection part can be had without dealing  with the mess of love, and hoping that someone decides that it's worth it.  It's easy for me to wrap my head around that and just shut myself off and not get hurt.

So what's a girl to do???  How do you Love More when all you do is love people???  This is my conundrum to conquer........