Monday, October 6, 2014

Oh Fitzwilliam where are you?

Jane Austen has ruined men for me forever.  In creating Fitzwilliam Darcy she has forever jaded women for the last 200 years.  If you are female and have read Pride and Prejudice and have not fallen in love with him..... there is something reprehensibly wrong with you.

"In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you" 

I could not even imagine.  These days all you get if you are lucky a guy might tell you that you are hot, or they have been wanting to hook up with you OR send you a text at 2:30 in the morning... the booty call text.  How romantic.  I know men don't know how to communicate anymore but with the advent of technology it's gotten worse.  Communication has been dwindled down to three word texts and if you are super lucky they don't say something like "I want 2 C U"., because you know, nothing gets a Woman's juices flowing more than an abbreviated sext.  Let's face it.  The majority of men don't know how to talk to women.  Forget a letter, hell I'd settle for a sticky note.  Phone calls? Why? Why would you call someone to have a conversation when you can just text them.  Because no one can really tell what you mean when you text.. There is no inflection button.  Are you being serious, sarcastic, or just trying to hold me at bay? Who knows???  I refuse to have another relationship where the main form of communication is texting. It's lazy and just plain chickenshit.  If you can't tell me what you really feel either on the phone or in person then I guess I don't want to hear it.

And let's talk about the in person thing.  Every woman, YES every woman has dreamt of a day where a man she likes or is dating would storm over to her house, knock on her door and declare his feelings.  Believe me when I say this Men... you will get a hell of a better reaction saying it face to face than over a smartphone.  Besides, face to face is authentic.  It's really easy to text someone something that may not be 100% true but only true sadomasochists can tell a woman something like that face to face and be lying about it.

"You have bewitched me body and soul, and I love, I love, I love you.  And wish from this day forth never to be parted from you."

That my friend is a marriage proposal.  Straightforward. Honest. 

Don't get me wrong.  I don't expect any man to speak these actual words in Old English vernacular, it would just be refreshing to hear something better than some of the drivel I have received in the past.

With Mr. Darcy she created this character, this man whom you were alternately annoyed with and enamored with. He said what was on his mind.  He stood by his convictions.  Strong men who can articulate their feelings are a thing of the past.  I for one am not about to sit around and guess what a text really means or obsess about it. Been there, done that... t-shirt and all of the above.  I refuse to waste time or energy guessing if you really like me or not.  Just freaking say it.  Like a big boy.

Oh and quite a few of my friends want me to start reading Outlander but gaging on how frantic and crazy this Jaime character has made them I think I will stick with Fitzwilliam

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