Wednesday, October 8, 2014
Want to cry today? On my agenda most days is just NOT to cry. It really doesn't take much, depending on how my morning with my kids went, or if my hormones are marching through my bloodstream in the wrong direction A song on the radio. A thought. A facebook post. My overactive imagination creating images and scenarios that will probably never ever happen, but there they are anyway. Boom, right over the edge into sobville.
Most of the time I just ignore these urges. I might let a solitary tear slip down my cheek then take a big sniff, suck it all back in and go on with my day.
I don't have enough time in the day. I don't spend enough time in devotion. My prayers are not long enough, consistent enough. I am failing my kids somehow, not doing enough. I am not going to make it through this. So often I feel like just giving up, saying "Nope, this isn't for me, I cannot take one more thing."
But I can....and I will. I am going to do this. I say that I am doing this myself. Technically I am. I do it all. School, housework, kids, Dr appointments, errands, activities, keeping them clothed and fed and healthy. Being responsible for their spiritual development when I feel like I am not giving enough time to mine. Showing them the world and how to be good and kind and gentle and strong and respectful young men. I will do it all. I will not be alone. I have God.
So if you feel like crying please go ahead and watch this fabulously beautiful video my friend Pam posted on my FB earlier. I have watched it at least 30 times and remembered where my strength comes from. Go ahead and click right here