Saturday, October 11, 2014

Boiled bunnies and Slashed tires

I'm not psycho....not even close to crazy.  I have my moments.  I will admit to throwing things.  Slamming things.  I have had the occasional hissy fit complete with screaming and yelling.  Those moments are few and far between.

 I'm more even-keeled. Understanding. Laid-back.  Chill.  Not a doormat yet  not a crazy psycho hose beast.  

Men say they can't stand crazy chicks. They would rather date cool chicks who don't act like serial killers.  I have had no less than five conversations with different men on this subject and they SWEAR up and down and sideways: that isn't what they want.

Freaking Liars!

At least two of those guys are dating chicks who make their lives hell.  They can't even think of talking, looking at  or breathing the air of another woman that isn't blood related.  One can't even be on Facebook.  They basically have lo-jacks on and if they are 30 seconds late somewhere the chick has full metal breakdown.

Here is your crazy psycho chick!
I had an in-depth conversation with one guy in Charleston.  He had been dating this chick for awhile and they had broken up.  He regaled me with tales of her craziness.  She just knew he was talking to other chicks when he wasn't with her.  She trashed his house.  She broke into his car.  She went through his phone.  She tried to have him arrested.  Guess what?  Two months after this conversation he proposed to her.  Fu-what?  I think they enjoy it.  I think they like being able to bitch about a crazy woman.

Maybe it's time to change up my game.

I am trying to imagine how I would behave. Text him 100 times a day?  Show up unannounced at his house...his job?  Just happen to show up wherever he is because you are basically stalking him? Throw fits, make demands, cry? 

Yeah I don't have time for that shit...

Now let me play Devil's advocate for a moment and just pretend that maybe guys like these chicks because they are more fun. more interesting, keep them on their toes.  Well, the toes part is spot on because with a crazy chick like that you are more likely to have to make a fast break in the middle of the night and possibly naked.

I call bullshit on this.  I am fun and interesting.  I can guarantee this.  I can give a list of several guys who can tell you how fun and awesome I am.  OK that didn't sound right.  But you get it.  I am fun, I have fun, I like spontaneous and cool and goofy and I sure as hell don't have to make your life a living hell to be with.

The next time a guy tells me he is looking for a cool chick who isn't crazy I think that will be my cue to smack the crap out of him, if he likes it....I run.

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