I had an epiphany today. I have actually had several lately but today was a good one. I actually want to be that Proverbs 31 woman. I have it tattooed on the back of my neck, but I have yet to be able to live it.
Today I realized that I will not ever, settle for anything less than what I want in a relationship or a partner.
Today a conversation with a friend made me realize I should not believe that looking for anything less was OK.
I know that I am a good woman. I know that I can make any man incredibly happy. I also know that I have sacrificed quite a bit of myself and what I want in order to try and make a relationship work. This might include overlooking things I swore I would never deal with or compromising what I believe in some way.
I have also heard my pastor make the comment several times about being yolked to someone who does not believe and how tremendously difficult that can be. A few times he has stood right in front of me when he has said...although I am sure it was just a coincidence.
My friend asked me if I had ever made a list of the attributes I wanted in a person. I have. I have also tried to imagine incorporating some of these people into my life and it seemed impossible.
My list isn't long. It doesn't have to be. Other than being a kind, decent man, there is really only one thing left to talk about. Jesus.
See I have always overlooked that part hoping that in some way my life or influence would make that other person want to know more about Jesus and develop that relationship. Now I am not saying that I wouldn't consider being with someone who isn't currently active or attending, but if I ask you about church and Jesus and there is any hesitation in your eyes, then I know it probably won't go far.
In order to be that Proverbs 31 woman, I can't just live like her and have those attributes, I have to have that partner in my life who is willing to lift me to that position.
Today I attended a conference. Today I was surrounded by at least 1000 people who were all there for one purpose. To learn how to grow their church and their youth. To "say yes" to the next generation. People who are passionate, about God, about spreading his word and bringing the next generation forward as leaders. I felt so connected to everyone, not just the people I came with. This is the kind of life I want. I want the person who would be right there with me, involved, and if not there waiting to hear all about it and help incorporate those things into our world and church.
I guess if I have to wait for it I will. I don't want to settle and I am for certain God doesn't want me to either.