I am tired of being angry. I am tired of being irritated and annoyed and hurt and put out and, and all the rest.
I had a really good weekend. My youngest sister Kelly came up and spent the weekend with me and the boys. Their dad worked Saturday then left Saturday afternoon for a fishing tournament. Kelly and I took the boys to Crossroads Village (another post for another happier time) shopped, went out to eat and watched movies. I love having her come up, the boys adore her and we had a really good time.
Then this afternoon my husband came home. His sunny disposition as always trailing in behind him. I will spare you the gory details but let's just say I was frowning with my arms crossed within five minutes.
I am TIRED OF BEING ANGRY!!! I don't want to do it anymore. I know that something has to change. I tried ignoring him, not saying anything or getting a snotty tone and it's so hard! Now its 10:40 at night and I have to be up at 5:30 to go to work and I am too riled up to even think about sleep!
All I want is to be happy. For one day. From the time I get up to the time I go to bed. Happiness. Calmness. Peacefulness. Is it really too much to ask? I am starting to get stomachaches and my teeth grinding is back and I have been biting my tongue literally until it bleeds. This cannot be a good sign!
Make some time for yourself, my friend. All by your lonesome, even if its only for half an hour. And, try to communicate your frustrations to him. Don't hold it in. I speak from experience. Sometimes it takes me too many times to count to get my hubby to understand me, but it is so worth it in the end. I hope you can find the energy/strength to do that. You deserve happiness! Sometimes it just takes awhile to figure out how to get there.
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