Thursday, February 7, 2013

There's this and this and that and this

Do you ever have those days where there is so much swirling around in your head, so much activity, so much caffeine coursing through your veins that you simply cannot pin a thought down????  Once in awhile?  Mine are pretty much every other but today more than most. Add a big dash of crazy emotion and you have me right now. Because if you know me at all, emotion is something I am Never without, good and bad

Let's start with the fact that if it doesnt' warm up soon and that sun doesn't start shining soon, I will not be held responsible for my actions.  There is only so much Vitamin D3 a girl can take, I am contemplating going to  the tanning salon, either that or asking my doctor for some Prozac.  I hate being cold, I hate being cooped up and I hate hate hate NO sunshine.  My nickname is Sunshine for crying out loud and I NEED SOME.

On the other end of the spectrum, I received a message from the husband of a very dear close bestest friend asking if I would like to spend a weekend in Chicago with her.......just us girls...... Hellz Yeah.....the man even offered to keep my children while we went.  If this doesn' scream Husband of the Year then nothing does.  I am so excited right now, I have never, ever , ever in my 39 years just gone to Chicago to spend the weekend, and that thought makes me sad because it truly screams how sad and pathetic my travels have been.

In between there, I have been talking to and thinking about a girlfriend who has been going through hell.  I look at  myself and my sad little life, and like to feel sorry for myself every once in awhile but I really dont' have much to complain about.  No I don't have any money but I have plenty of things.  I have two healthy children who drive me bat-shit crazy but I love them more than my own life and they are really great kids.  I was yelling at them last night then read the blog of my friend and thought "What a horrid wretched person I am, yelling at my children and her own dear daughter is gone from this world"  Her blog is a must read. Anyone who can get through half of  a post without crying  , is someone I don't even want to know.   You can read about what she has been going through here

Next week is my boy's first rock concert.  We are going to see Three Days Grace, Shinedown, and POD.  To say we are excited is an understatement.  I LOVE going to concerts and because he has his Mother's impeccable music taste, this is something we both can do and enjoy!!! I got seats because even I know 11 is a little too young for a mosh pit!

That Dodge Ram-Paul Harvey commercial during the Superbowl just about did me in.  I loved listening to him, it reminds me of being at grandparents and he would always be on the radio.  He is gone and so are they and I have been thinking lately about how much I miss them and would give anything for my boys to have known their Grandma Powell. Some days it's almost too much to bear to know that we will never have another Christmas or Thanksgiving at their house.

I have to say I am flattered and taken aback at the outpouring of love and kudos I have been getting from various friends. None of them know each other but for whatever reason, they have all decided to bombard me with texts, FB messages and posts to tell me how loved I am, how great I am, how great of a mother I am and on and on.  If ever I needed to hear that it's right now. I feel like I am stuck in purgatory.  Nothing about my life right now is for certain.  Not my job, not my love life, not my future and to hear people tell me they are thinking of me, hoping for me and basically cheering for me, makes me feel slightly more stable and less likely to come unglued.  this had led me to reach out to some people who haven't heard from me and tell them the same thing.

So if you get a text or email or phone call from me, and it makes your heart feel good, please pass it along...

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