Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Anatomy of a Song

This song is everywhere. EVERYWHERE! Everyone has heard it in it's original form or one of the many knockoffs.  I first heard it about six months ago.  I was in the car and heard about the last half of it.  I never heard the title or artist but thanks to YouTube you can just put part of a song title in and usually get it.  When I first hear a song, especially one I like, I really listen to it, the words, the melody, the beat, the whole thing.  This one is particular had my attention.  I can usually listen to a song an apply it to either something past or present in my life.  Songs remind me of people, places, happenings, memories and because I listen to music so much sometimes that song becomes a part of that time in my life. When I associate a song with a happy time in my life, or a person then that person is gone, I can't listen to that song anymore. 

This is the perfect break-up song.  Not  because listening to it makes you feel better but because it perfectly embodies what men and women do once broken up.

Let's start with him:  He's happy, then he's not and he decides to be done. "I told myself that you were right for me, but felt so lonely in your company, but that was love and that's an ache I still remember"  which means, I love you but not enough, and don't want to be around you anymore. Once guys are done, they are done.  I have never been able to understand how they can just shut it off , compartmentalize and move on.  Next verse: " So when we found that we could not make sense. well you said that we could still be friends, but I'll admit that I was glad it was over" Translation:  Thanks for shouldering the responsibility and saying we can be friends. Now I can just walk away and not feel bad about breaking your heart. And my favorite, the ever so lovely chorus "But you didn't have to cut me out, make it like it never happened as though we were nothing, I don't even need your love but you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough"   Aww, poor you,  you don't need our love but it hurts your feelings that we want to cut you right out of our lives. Guess what?  Girls, Women cannot be friends, not right away and sometimes not ever.   Women invest more energy and time and when it ends, we end up apologizing, for being the one more in love.  Signals get crossed, feelings get crushed and people feel like stupid idiots for feeling that way, and one person, Men or Women, get to walk off thinking that you can still be friends while the other party shoulders the blame or resentment. No way should you get to feel good about this pal.

Women don't get off easy in this either. We are no picnic ourselves.   Let's dissect:  "Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over"  I love that line.  We always get screwed over, at least we think we do.  We spend HOURS, sometimes day analyzing the entire relationship with our girlfriends. trying to make ourselves feel validated, feel better, seem like the better person in all of it.  "You said that you could let it go, and I don't wanna catch you hung up on somebody that you used to know"  Man we can be vindictive bitches.  You broke up with us but how dare you be upset about it and think of us.  Really?  I am sure that somewhere down in the male brain and psyche they think about their ex-girlfriends.  At least that is what we want to think.  That they get all misty-eyed and sentimental and think, how could I have let her go???  Doubtful but you can't fault a girl for making herself feel better.

What men don't get is women need Closure.  Closure to women isn't just taking down a picture, changing our profile picture on Facebook or heading to the gym. Closure to a woman is eradicating every trace of you from our lives.  Unfriending you on Facebook.  Burning things in some cases.  Mailing your belongings back to you, making it though as you never even existed, and making our girlfriends take that solemn vow to never speak of you again, unless of course there is juicy news or details about the new slut you are dating!!!!  Sorry guys, women don't take it well when you dump them, and if you feel bad, well, "Now you're just somebody that we used to Know"

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