Monday, March 19, 2012

The power of overthinking

It's my own fault and I do it to myself every time.  I think. And then I think some more, and somewhere along the line of my overthink my wild imagination takes over and I am in a panic.  I have, in my mind a situation that is so out of control, so unfathomable that I am sure it's the truth.  I have made a mistake.  I totally Fu*&ed up, no fixing it now.  And for days, it's all I can think about, over and over in my head, telling myself how stupid and worthless I am because of one stupid thing.

I can usually talk myself off the ledge, or I call my girls Rebecca and Tara and have them talk me down.  And then I am fine.  For days.  And then it only takes one little thing to send me back into my tailspin.

I really need to learn to stop thinking.  Someone suggested mediation but that would mean I would have to stop thinking and pretty sure that is impossible.  I tried it once and just ended up thinking about all the things I could have been doing while I sat there trying to think about nothing.  Unless I am sleeping (and then I have vivid dreams) my mind is going non-stop.  What I am doing, what I need to do, what I would like to do, who I would like to see, where I would like to be, etc, etc, etc.

This is the the only time I wish I was more like a guy, because as we know, they never think about anything.....

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