Monday, January 4, 2010

Did I do this?

I have never lived with a hypochondriac before. I have never had to deal with someone who thought that something was wrong with them 24/7. I really don't have the patience to deal with someone who all of a sudden has multiple maladies, especially when I am trying to take care of two small boys.

Let's go back a couple of months. If you have read this blog at all you know that I am on the downward spiral of my marriage. I had finally had it with the nasty treatment once again and finally looked at him and said "I want a DIVORCE" It was that sentence that finally hit him like a ton of bricks and opened his eyes to the fact that he had run out of chances. About a week later, he had a panic attack. He had been jogging and come back and was freaked out because his heart was pounding and pulse was racing and he couldn't settle down. He then became clingy and whiny, following me around our 950 square foot house constantly asking me what was wrong, no matter what the look on my face.

Deer season rolled around and he went to his parents for the week, which meant a welcome break for me. It was going to be just me and the boys for an entire week. First thing Sunday morning he calls me and tells me that his dad just took him to the emergency clinic because he had another panic attack, they have him some shot and some drug and he is staying there for the next day or so. He comes home they do a battery of tests and can find nothing physically wrong but tell him to keep taking this drug. He becomes super clingy and annoying at this point. He then starts to think that every twinge, creak, ache, that he is having is something tragic. his neck hurts so he thinks he has arthritis. His chest hurts so eh is convinced he is dying of a heart attack. I say maybe its these pills they gave you and tell him to go back to the doctor.

Fast forward to now and I am at the end of my rope, I don't doubt he is having anxiety issues but I think he is playing it for all its worth. He is seeing a therapist but they are sending him to some doctor who can prescribe him some milder medication and its not soon enough. He is completely useless to me right now. He won't do anything. Unless that is it serves his own purpose. He has no patience with the kids and we are all walking on eggshells. over the holiday he laid on the couch the entire three days we were off. Oh he went to the hardware and dinked around looking for a new cellphone but the rest of the time eh just couldn't do anything.

I cannot bring myself to be sympathetic to him at all. I know people who have gone through anxiety issues more severe than his and they dug in pulled through. He is acting like a big baby who wants everyone to tiptoe around him. I know this all started when I brought out the D word but unless something happens soon I am going to need some medication too!

1 comment:

  1. Hang in there, my friend. Hopefully he will sort his mental mess out quickly so you guys can work on the real issues at hand. And I hope that his therapist is honest enough to challenge him to look at the effects of his relationship on your family. In the meantime, I suggest you playing whatever music helps you to tolerate the scene and to cope positively for you and your boys. Create an anthem! : ) I've always found the music helps me to cope... it's just a matter of finding the right lyrics to help you feel empowered.