Monday, June 24, 2013

The cat ran away and other lies I've told my children...

Let's be honest here people. We lie to our children on a daily basis.  Every "just a minute"  to "we'll see" is usually a flat out lie. I don't intend to do it....for the most part but it happens.  As they get older they will totally catch me in these lies and call me out, but until then, they can just stay in the dark. 

What kind of lies do I tell them??????? Some that you tell your own children, some not.

1.  The Santa Clause/Jesus lie
     OK, you tell this one too.  "Santa Claus is watching you"  From about the end of October right up until bedtime on Christmas Eve everyone uses this veiled threat to make children behave.  Of course it only works with my five year old so that is where I break out Jesus for my 12 year old.  So that isn't a lie, Jesus is watching you, but I like to add the "What do you think Jesus would think of your Behaviour?"  Kind of like my own WWJD which they totally miss the significance of because of their age.

2.  The It's All Gone Lie 
     Sometimes you have something that is just too good for a child's palate.  Candy, Cookies, Ice Cream.  I try and not eat a whole lot of that but every once in awhile, there is just something I find that I LOOVE, and I will be damned if I am sharing it with a child who is just going to woof it down and not appreciate it!  I have been known to hide stuff in very creative, high above their head places where they never know it's there.  Once they drift off to sleep I can then enjoy whatever delectable morsel I have.  SIDE NOTE:  Make sure your children are fully asleep, if not it's like the cat/can opener affect and they come running when they hear a box opening.

3.  They aren't home
    At the end of a long workday, the last thing I want to do is deal with someone else's children.  Let's be blunt here, there are days I don't want to deal with my OWN children.  So when they ask for someone to come over/go to their house, I will occasionally "pretend" to call and alas, they aren't home.  SIDE NOTE: This isn't working much more for my 12 year old since he has his own phone, but I still have the almighty power of N-O.

4.  I didn't see that
    This is kind of a two-fold lie, used for avoiding stopping somewhere and then used to stop tattling and bickering.  If I don't see it we can't possibly stop there, If I didn't see it I can't possibly punish the person (unless there are tears and blood).  I have been known to be driving and Oops I didn't see that restaurant/ice cream place/video game store you wanted to stop at, aaaaand we already passed it. Sorry maybe next time.

5.  I'll be right back/I'll put you in my bed later
    The lie told to every child under the age of eight.  When my five year old goes to bed at night, he likes me to lay with him for a minute.  We usually read, then depending on the day of the week and time of year he can watch a movie in his room.  I love to lay there and cuddle and read but truth be told a full grown woman and a child on a super single bed tends to be crowded.  Sometimes I will lay there until he falls asleep, but most often I have things to do before I can go to bed so I say those four little words "I'll be right back"  and then sneak off to do what have you.  Which is what I am doing this minute.  I left his room to take out my contacts and wash my face and just kept sneaking on down the hall.  He also likes to believe I will put him in my bed later, which I say of course to, then don't and he ends up in my bed most nights around four in the morning.

6.  Your cat ran away
     OK, now, the cat may have run away, but that is still up in the air. Here is what happened.  I was out on the deck enjoying a lovely glass of wine with Jeff, and "one of us" (ME) left the sliding glass door open.  The cats came out.  Now, these were OUTDOOR cats before we got them.  They have escaped Mi Casa once or twice before only to get caught/meander back, so I thought, no big deal, let em run around for awhile, the gate is closed.  Well, for some reason the small one, Bob started freaking out, tearing around and ran headfirst into the gate, turned around and ran the other way and went diving under the porch.  There is a hole there under my rosebush that some animal dug to crawl under for the winter.  Other than that hole, there is NO other way to even look under there.  So as far as I know, he may have come out, gotten through the little space in the gate and ran off for places unknown, but I doubt it.  I fear he got stuck under there or something because I haven't seen him yet.  The boys took the "He ran off" story, which could be plausible, and are just assuming he will turn up again someday or found another family to live with.  I DO feel bad but these cats aren't your typical cats so it's not like they slept with either of them or cuddled up in our laps.

So there it is, my omissions of sin.  Hopefully that can forgive me in 30 years 

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