Let's start with the kids first. The first grader...no problems there. He is so smart and so good for other people. I get compliments everywhere about how helpful, and sweet and kind he is. Luckily they didn't witness the screaming fit he threw when I told him no computer and Netflix on Friday (when they come back from their dad's) because of his mouthy comments to me and his brother. This will be a breeze for him. His reading level is almost second grade and everything else comes naturally.
The seventh grader. This one has me worried. Not because he isn't smart. He is. Extremely smart. But somewhere around 5th grade he stuck his head up his rear-end and has yet to extract it. I know, I know, It's a boy thing. But it's extremely frustrating to tell him something or ask him something and get that blank stare. Or how he "forgets" to hand in work, or bring work home, or what the teacher told him. The fact that he has six different teachers this year terrifies me and I have gotten him as organized as I can without actually being there. Now all I can do is pray and hope he finally starts listening.
Then there's me. School is something I have wanted to do for years but either it wasn't the right time or the support to go back was not there. I have had this unwavering feeling for awhile that I needed to be doing something different with my life. Profoundly different. Luckily for me my bank got bought out a year ago and this year it was announced that my department was being moved to another office in Ohio. I could have stayed. I could have gone back to a service position, but to me that was a move back about 12 years and since I already feel burnt out with my current job, just the thought of staying was making me physically ill. So tomorrow I start the first of two classes this semester and then when my job is done the end of this year, I will be able to start back full time. The "plan" is to go until I am done which I am anticipating will be about 15 months, barring any issues with classes. This is going to take some sacrifice on my part. Some creative accounting if you will. But at this point in my life it's almost a do or die. It's just me here. At least for now, and the only way out of this lovely hole I am in is a better job which will require a better education. So I am ready. Two business classes this semester, the whole hog next. The only thing that terrifies me more than no job is the Inorganic Chemistry I will have to take.
So like I said, I have been feeling like my life needed to be taking a different path. Besides school, I felt like I needed to be doing something more with church. I go nearly every Sunday. I participate in classes and events, send my kids to events. I have volunteered for a couple of things, but now I am doing more. This Sunday I will help co-lead a small group for 8th grade girls. This has me excited and freaked out all in one. I love doing this. Leading, counseling, teaching. Terrified because what do I know about leading a small group? And you know what this means. I am probably going to have to GULP, Pray out loud. ( I have to go breathe into a brown paper bag) So please pray for me. I know it's going to be OK, it will be rewarding and if I am lucky I might come out of this a slightly better person. Lord knows I need that daily.So it's off to the races, kids, work full time, classes the only two days I don't have kids. No spare time really. But it will be good, the less time I have the less time there is to think about how sucky things have been, and how I am going to make things better, one way or another
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