What a difference a year makes!

I 'm not exactly sure what happened except that I woke up one day about a year ago and thought "when did I let myself get this fat?"  Between two kids and the stress of a marriage gone bad, I had just stopped trying.  My divorce was final one year ago today and I realized that I had gotten myself back part of the way, but needed to come back full circle.

I started Weight Watchers last February against my will with my friend Jen.  I wanted to lose weight but hated the idea of keeping track of every single thing I put in my mouth.  The first go round I only lost 9 pounds.  But I had also added Zumba to the mix and that was helping.    The next 13 weeks I lost about 15 more pounds and started running.  Running is something I never thought I would do.  I have these acid flashbacks of high school basketball practice and a sadistic basketball coach who thought nothing of having us run a mile before and after practice in addition to the running during.  With the help of some great people, some who I met during Zumba or running races I am only 20 pounds away from goal. 

I want this bad.  I feel like the Heather I used to be a long time ago.  Not just because I am thinner, but because I feel like a person again.   I truly hated myself and when I look at pictures from the last 10 years I want to burn them.  Losing weight isn't just physical, it's mental because unless you have ever been "fat"  you have no idea what it is to look at yourself in the mirror and despise what you see.  

I will do this........