I do love people. I love life, and experiences and music and just everything around me in general, I love what is safe. Safe is my family and most of my friends and my kids and animals and things that I don't have to worry about not loving me back.
I spent today by myself. Other than taking Kid A to the Dr this morning and picking up a funky cool little table from a thrift shop I was home (and the gym but I don't talk to anyone there) by myself.,and oh yeah Daisy but she doesn't really count because I can talk to her about anything and she doesn't have anything to say about it.
Cool new table |
Love...love more...its an easy concept but hard to put into practice if it's easier to just not to love anyone other than those people listed above. I have days where I am certain I could go the rest of my life and just not deal with the unpleasant task of someone under my feet, dealing with them, trying to make them happy so they stay. That is how I feel about love at the moment, It's a task, something to check off my to do list and I keep moving it to the bottom and then to the following day's list.
Again, being the social Virgo that I am, I crave love, I give love. When I love someone there isn't anything I can't do for them. My friends and family know this very well. The thing is, the affection part can be had without dealing with the mess of love, and hoping that someone decides that it's worth it. It's easy for me to wrap my head around that and just shut myself off and not get hurt.
So what's a girl to do??? How do you Love More when all you do is love people??? This is my conundrum to conquer........